Remember the Gold: The Value of Self-Compassion

The beginning of the calendar year is a great opportunity to reflect, set goals, and create resolutions. Each one of us has the right to begin again, to start fresh, to work on our self-growth, and to try to emerge out of habits that no longer serve us. Requisite to this is a practice of self-compassion. As you return to the classroom this week, set goals, and make resolutions I encourage you to do so with great self-compassion.

A self-compassion practice helps to mitigate the negativity bias of our brains which gives us a sense that something must be wrong. We all experience different forms of conditioning that lead us to compare ourselves to others or to feel we are not enough. But when we turn on ourselves in this way, we deny what is good, what we are capable of, and the positive impact we may be already having. 

For educators, this negativity bias can be particularly strong when the conditions and the systems under which educators work create a feeling that nothing is ever enough. According to Tara Brach, clinical psychologist and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington DC, these feelings are “real but not necessarily true”. Self-compassion helps us recognize and believe in our value and see that we are just enough. Accepting our mistakes and shortcomings as part of our humanity, we can authentically strive toward our best selves. When we fall short of a goal or a resolution, we can turn back to that same belief and simply begin again. We do not need to strive for perfection. We can recognize that each one of our authentic efforts, no matter how big or small, is meaningful and makes a difference. 

“Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely…Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times.”  Clarissa Pikola Estes

A friend of mine hosted a New Year gathering with the theme of 24-karat gold in honor of our 2024 lap around the sun. I loved the theme and was inspired to consider this a golden year, not necessarily with glitz and glitter, but with the precious nature of gold and the precious nature of our humanity. There is a beautiful story of the Golden Buddha that I carry around with me as a reminder to practice self-compassion and trust in the presence of this preciousness.

Story of the Golden Buddha

In Bangkok, there is a golden statue of the Buddha that stands 9’8” tall, weighs 5.5 tons, and is worth approximately 250 million in gold.

The statue was thought to be built in 1,403 and was revered by Buddhists for many hundreds of years. In 1,757 the Burmese Army was invading Thailand. Facing complete annihilation, the Buddhist monks at the monastery hastily began covering their Golden Buddha with plaster, which was painted and inlaid with bits of colored glass, to make it look of little or no value to the invading army. During the invasion, all the Buddhist monks were tragically murdered, but the Golden Buddha was left undiscovered.

In 1957 an entire Monastery in Thailand was being relocated by a group of monks. It is said that when moving the enormous statue one of the ropes broke and the statue crashed to the ground, cracking open the surface of the statue. On closer investigation, they found a golden light emanating from the crack. All work was stopped and an excavation was ordered to chip away at the clay exterior, which revealed that the statue was made of solid gold.

Like the Buddha statue, each of us carries within ourselves this precious gold. And, like the Buddha statue, it is often covered by these hard exterior habits or behaviors that we have acquired in the name of protecting ourselves. In the face of threat or vulnerability, we often put on armor that hides our true nature from others, and from ourselves. Without the recognition of the beauty of our real nature, we are vulnerable to traps of blame, shame, and criticism that prevent us from being able to move forward not just to change behaviors, but to let our true nature shine through.

To our educators, It is so easy for me to see your incredible value and to recognize your tireless efforts, the deep care you have for your students and families, and the desire to make a positive difference in the lives of others. I can also understand the role of self-doubt and the feelings of not being enough. Self-compassion is offering oneself the same kindness you would offer to a dear friend. So, as you return to work, I hope that you feel the kindness and care that we offer through TeachWell. I hope you can turn that same kindness and care toward yourselves. May the story of the Golden Buddha be a gentle reminder to believe in your goodness, your gold! Happy 2024…may it be golden!