Beyond Magic Words
Deepening the Practice of Gratitude
Across the U.S. there will be a lot of talk about gratitude this week. It is a great opportunity to go a bit deeper into a more profound consideration of gratitude. Gratitude has many dimensions. It is an affective state, a felt sense of a pleasant emotion. It is a compulsory action woven into our social fabric. It is an obligation at the heart of many world religions. It is a stimulus to the human brain that over time generates emotional and physical benefits. With such significance, it certainly warrants a holiday and a more intentional consideration. We teach children that there is magic in the words “please” and “thank you”, but what is the magic behind these words? How can gratitude as a practice build individual emotional strength and positively impact our school communities?
Research shows that gratitude practices in children support their sense of connectedness, efficacy, satisfaction with friends, and inclination to give social support to others. Grateful teens show fewer signs of depression, more engagement in school and hobbies, and are more likely to share their strengths with their communities. (Science Direct, Journal of School Psychology) In adults, research on gratitude practices reveals health benefits such as better sleep, greater longevity, and an increased sense of hope and happiness. We can deepen our practices to touch the magic that lies behind the benefits. (Greater Good Science Center of Berkeley)
Johnathan Lehman, a mindfulness teacher and practitioner, reminds us that historically it was more important for the human brain to perceive threat than to perceive pleasure. The human objective was not to be happy. It was to survive. Our human brain is still wired toward a negativity bias in which negative thoughts are quicker and stickier than positive thoughts. It is normal to get caught up in the negative thoughts in our minds, and over time, it is taxing and draining.
No longer constrained by the primary purpose of survival, humans can rewire the brain to choose a purpose of happiness, wholeness, and emotional resilience. Because of neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s capacity to continue growing and evolving in response to life experiences, it can be reprogrammed to generate more positive mindsets so that we experience more gratitude for the past and greater optimism for the future. With dedication and commitment, we can minimize self-limiting beliefs and experience a positive mindset more consistently. Lehman teaches, “Every time we direct our attention toward certain thoughts we are impacting our present moment AND asking our brain to suggest these same thoughts in the future.” By bringing greater awareness to gratitude we will, over time, begin to experience gratitude beyond a temporary state and as a sustainable trait in how we feel and engage with the world. We may not always feel grateful, but we can find our way back to a positive mindset more quickly and more effectively.
An expression of gratitude in the moment is the acknowledgment of an experience. As a routine exchange, this expression may not always carry feelings of authenticity, but the repeated engagement with others plants seeds of awareness that grow over time. We can enhance this practice by expanding our awareness beyond simply saying, “Thanks!”. The most impactful gratitude practices include a narrative that names the specific act or appreciation to create a more profound sense of recognition for the person offering the gratitude and the person receiving it. “Thank you for picking that up for me!”, or “Thank you for helping me with that project!” Practices that include an understanding of the impact of the act or gift also deepen the benefits of gratitude. “Thank you for picking that up for me! It made my job much easier!”, or “Thank you for helping me with that project! Your help made it more fun!”.
Embodied gratitude recognizes the pleasant sensations in our bodies. When we appreciate something and bring our awareness to how it feels in our bodies, this leaves a more indelible mark in our memory and sustains the experience of being grateful. Pause and bring awareness to the sensations of appreciation. How do you feel in your body when you experience a beautiful sunset, a moment of levity with a friend, or the taste of a delicious meal? Consider your favorite aspect of a holiday. Through what sensation do you enjoy these celebrations the most —sight, sound, smell, taste, or touch? Connect with the sensation. Share a story with someone about why and how that sensation manifests for you. Embodied gratitude has a profound positive impact on our nervous systems.
The exchange of gratitude carries newly understood benefits for those who receive appreciation. Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford Medical School, researched the most effective gratitude practices that benefit well-being. In his research, monitors of brain activity showed a greater activation of the beneficial circuits in the brain when people receive gratitude than when people express gratitude. This is even true when people observe stories of the expression of gratitude. Neuroscience aside, consider this in the context of interpersonal relationships in classrooms, school communities, and our personal lives. In a classroom or school community that has consistent and observable practices of expressed and exchanged gratitude, we can expect greater prosocial behaviors of generosity, kindness, and care for others and our community.
This holiday season is an opportunity to bring greater depth to a gratitude practice. As always, TeachWell believes the most authentic approach to teaching social-emotional competency to our students is to begin in our personal lives. Try these practices at home or in your engagements with friends and family this week. Notice the impact and let that inspire you to bring these practices to the students you work with. Do role plays to introduce and practice the “narratives of gratitude.” Community circle is a great time for students to give and receive gratitude. Mindful minutes before staff meetings or as a bookend to classroom transition times can be a time to reflect on and embody gratitude.
It is easy to close this blog with an authentic expression of gratitude for all of our educators. Thank you for your dedication to our students and communities. Your hard work inspires me to show up strong in support of you and your tireless efforts. Enjoy this week of rest! May you be grounded in gratitude and feel restored over these next several days!